Woe Is Me, But Keep It Moving
The last few weeks have been challenging for me. Ha, challenging is an understatement. I would like to say that the big problem is that things haven't been going my way. But in reality, things just haven't been going. As in, there hasn't been any movement in my business or life, just stagnation.
And I would also like to say that this is an experience specific to entrepreneurs but it's not. It's simply ish that happens in life, right?
Now, couple that with the ever-creeping self-doubt and the beginnings of comparing my success to others (Real talk AND social media you fiend!). Plus, my energy level has been almost non-existent despite exercising two to three times a week and eating very well (ok, so chocolate cake got in there somewhere, but that's it, I swear).
I mean 10 hours of sleep is overdoing it as I lay silently screaming, "Get up Ayanna!" "Who dat?!" My other self says, silencing my phone and rolling over. Hmmm, stress sleeping?
The pity spiral was getting out of control. I got to the point where I was like “Eff it. I'm done.” 1- 2 -3 4- 5- 6- 7- 8- 9…
But I'm a fighter. I may get knocked down for a while, but I bounce back into the ring ready to go another round. And when I get up, I plan to win. I just can't go down like that. It isn't in my blood.
Ironically, and to my surprise, people have been telling me that I look so bright. And I'm like, "but I feel like crap!" It must be the inner glow of hope, believing that if I keep my eye on the prize and continue to take one meaningful step forward that I'll reach the finish line.
“How did I get this way?” I ask myself. How does my psyche hold steadfast to never-ending hope, to keep moving forward even when the finish line looks more like an ever-changing horizon than a yellow ribbon? The closer I move towards it the farther it moves away from me. Perhaps, it was my upbringing. Better yet, perhaps I’ve personally experienced the fruits of what perseverance and stick-to-it-ness bring to my life. Perhaps, I’m finally beginning to make sense of what this is all about and the puzzle pieces are coming together.
We are taught and instructed to do many things in life. Eat this, do that, be that. But there’s no better teacher than experience. And I’ve experienced victory. I’m addicted to the taste. Victory must be again.
In the meantime, as I pull myself out of this doldrum there are few things that keep me going even when the sleep stupor is heavy, and the morning alarm sounds. I do eventually get up, y’all.
Here are my top 3 ways to keep it moving even when I’m not moving.
“Where motivation wanes discipline prevails” - Keep a Routine. Training myself to have a balanced daily routine is one of the best things I could have ever done. The will to do something is not always present but as we all know a consistent habit is hard to break. Routine keeps my body moving in the right direction even when my mind has temporarily short-circuited. Wake, exercise, get out of the house, make calls, eat lunch, network...you get the point.
“Enjoy the journey as much as the destination” - Chill Out Already. Workaholism in a stagnant space is a saucy recipe for disaster! Sounds like an oxymoron, right? Nope, not at all. We humans believe that if nothing is happening then we should make it happen. Go, go, go, do, do, do! What we really should do is stick to our routine and take breaks that allow us to reassess, evaluate and most importantly enjoy ourselves! I’m always guaranteed an unforeseen solution or perspective when I simply chill out. Doing nothing is sometimes the best something we can do.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Only You Can Do You Like You. I am as unique as my fingerprint. No one else can be as good at being me than me. That’s an empowering thought. If I’m so awesome at being me why would I want to be someone else? Why would I want to do it exactly like someone else? That’s boring and offends my creative sensibility. Away with you, social media!
As I was writing this woe is me blog an opportunity opened after I made myself get out of the house and go work at a cafe. I struck up a conversation with an acquaintance and voila, opportunity. The dark clouds begin to roll back, the sky brightens. Let’s see where this takes me.
Here’s to having grit and crossing the finish line with style and grace instead of huffing and puffing. Fingers crossed, universal alignment, spiritual enlightenment, Jesus! Allah! Buddha! And all that jazz.